Friday, August 31, 2012


What keeps a person up until almost 5 in the morning? My desire to watch TV or play video games died about 4 hours ago, there is nothing worth looking at on the Internet, my eyes and ears can't take much more editing video or music today. I am exhausted, yet I know that even if I crawled into bed right now, sleep would elude me. And there is nothing that makes time go slower than laying awake in bed, counting the seconds in your head. My doctor had told me in the past that it may have something to do with the various mental and physical ailments that I suffer from, and I am not one to argue with him.

I fear that one day, I will awaken and discover that I have been asleep the whole time, just dreaming of insomnia, not unlike the protagonist in Fight Club. Only I doubt that my fantasy self would even assume to try to look like Brad Pitt. Even my Id has too many self image issues to assign it such a lovely avatar.

OK, I am babbling now...

Friday, August 24, 2012


Pharmaceuticals...They fuel America. They have a pill to solve every problem. Not feeling yourself? Here's a Prozac. Feeling a little uptight, here's a Paxil. Feel a little limp, here's a Viagra. Pharmaceuticals fuel this country to the point that they have replaced good old fashioned recreational drugs. Why smoke some weed when you can take a Xanax? Why snort coke when you can take 5 too many Wellbutrin? And Oxycontin is WAY easier and less dangerous to get a hold of than heroin, and its origins and effects are similar enough to not really matter one way or the other.

This syndrome continues on into nutrition. Why eat healthy when all of the nutrients that the fast food and diet soda leech away from you can be replaced by little pills? And the companies who manufacture (yes, I said manufacture) our food are in on this madness as well. Jesus, they process our food, stripping it of any nutritional value, and then fortify it with chemical vitamins and then sell it at a premium for being "Healthy".

I remember when I was a kid and I used to watch cartoons or read comic books depicting a future where all of our food would either come in pills or tubes. I thought it was clever and kinda nifty, in a space age sort of way. Today I see it actually happening and I despair a little...

 I look at my own morning regiment and I realize that I am quickly becoming another sad statistic in this country. And I am not even close to as bad as some of my friends and family. My morning regiment is as follows: One Lamictal to balance out my Bipolar, a Nexium for my GERD, a Multivitamin for general health, a Vitamin D pill for a deficiency that I didn't know I had, a C&E Vitamin for Heart and Men's Health, and a Claritin for my allergies. This week, I have also injured my back, so it's a Flexeril to relax my muscles and a Vicodin to take the edge off of the pain. The pills make me a little loopy so, to counteract those side effects, I swallow the whole mess of pills down with a sugar free energy drink, packed with caffeine, guarana, ginseng, taurine, B - Vitamins, and other herbs and spices mixed together to keep me awake and alert. At night, I will take another Lamictal and another Vicodin and Flexeril. I am a sheep.

Needless to say, I have been thinking about these things lately. However, I am an average American, likely to continue in my practices until they kill me. Ironic, huh? I write about these evils and how I am finding myself being drawn into them, and know that it is unlikely that I will do anything about it...